Posts Tagged "comparison"

You’re Only Successful Because

Posted by Erin Blaskie on Mar 2, 2010 in Business Tips | 15 comments

I have the utmost respect for entrepreneurs.  Regardless of their situations, they all share a common personality trait – the desire to succeed.  Nobody enters into the business world looking to or wanting to fail.  Nobody goes into it saying, “Well, if it does work out, that’d be cool.”  No, most of us hit the business world with the desire to create something bigger than we can imagine and we go into it thinking, “This WILL work!”  It’s our drive and our tenacity that allow us to stand amongst the entrepreneurial crowd with pride.

Until you meet those people who tell you, “You’re only successful because…”

I have come across a few women, over the course of the past six years, that have attributed my success to one key fact – I haven’t had any offspring yet.  Put aside the idea that I may very well be a driven, focused, motivated individual who wants to create a business that is sustainable, successful and a lot of fun to be in AND I’d probably have this drive regardless of whether or not I’ve also given birth to children…  Nope, it all boils down to how underused my ovaries are.

Now, I know that the men reading my blog may not be having my particular issue (mostly the underused ovaries part…) and I think it might be pretty specific to the female generation. Women can have difficulty sometimes with comparing themselves to another women in a similar situation.  So, when a woman is feeling like she isn’t as successful as the other woman she’s speaking with, she makes excuses as to why she isn’t there yet.  Generally speaking, the excuses are pointed directly at the other woman.

“You’re only successful because your husband has a great job and you can afford to take it slow.”

“You’re only successful because you’ve got a great support system.”

“You’re only successful because you got lucky and met the right contacts early on.”

When I hear any entrepreneur use these lines to compare themselves to another entrepreneur, I like to gently remind them that it doesn’t matter how the stars align and how perfect a scenario is, when it comes to running a business and being an entrepreneur you’ve either got it or you don’t.  The willingness, the drive, the motivation, the focus, the desire… you either have those traits or you don’t.

We don’t know a person’s history unless we’ve walked in their shoes and we’ve gone through what they’ve gone through.  We will never know and it’s time for us to put down the, “You’re only successful because…” and change it to, “I admire your ability to…”  Changing your attitude toward other people’s successes will allow you to experience your own success more fully.  You will be able to fully stand in your achievements and say, “I did this.  I created this.  I have the ability to succeed.” without attributing it to any other outside factor.

What do you think?  Have you ever been told that you’re only successful because…?  If so, what did you reply or how did you feel?