Until you meet those people who tell you, “You’re only successful because…”

I have come across a few women, over the course of the past six years, that have attributed my success to one key fact – I haven’t had any offspring yet.  Put aside the idea that I may very well be a driven, focused, motivated individual who wants to create a business that is sustainable, successful and a lot of fun to be in AND I’d probably have this drive regardless of whether or not I’ve also given birth to children…  Nope, it all boils down to how underused my ovaries are.

Now, I know that the men reading my blog may not be having my particular issue (mostly the underused ovaries part…) and I think it might be pretty specific to the female generation. Women can have difficulty sometimes with comparing themselves to another women in a similar situation.  So, when a woman is feeling like she isn’t as successful as the other woman she’s speaking with, she makes excuses as to why she isn’t there yet.  Generally speaking, the excuses are pointed directly at the other woman.

“You’re only successful because your husband has a great job and you can afford to take it slow.”

“You’re only successful because you’ve got a great support system.”

“You’re only successful because you got lucky and met the right contacts early on.”

When I hear any entrepreneur use these lines to compare themselves to another entrepreneur, I like to gently remind them that it doesn’t matter how the stars align and how perfect a scenario is, when it comes to running a business and being an entrepreneur you’ve either got it or you don’t.  The willingness, the drive, the motivation, the focus, the desire… you either have those traits or you don’t.

We don’t know a person’s history unless we’ve walked in their shoes and we’ve gone through what they’ve gone through.  We will never know and it’s time for us to put down the, “You’re only successful because…” and change it to, “I admire your ability to…”  Changing your attitude toward other people’s successes will allow you to experience your own success more fully.  You will be able to fully stand in your achievements and say, “I did this.  I created this.  I have the ability to succeed.” without attributing it to any other outside factor.

What do you think?  Have you ever been told that you’re only successful because…?  If so, what did you reply or how did you feel?

Check out the video podcast below and be sure to check out their website at www.Macgasm.net. If you’re a Twitterholic (like me) you can find the Macgasm crew at @Macgasm.

First, let me just tell you that this company is awesome.  With hundreds of designs to choose from (or, create your own) and high quality printing, their cards are unparalleled to Vista Print and other similar printing companies.  I had asked on Twitter about business cards and a few people highly recommended the company so I ordered my cards last week.

I did the regular business cards, wrote in text, left off pictures and placed the order on rush delivery. They stated that they’d be here by February 26 and it’s the 23rd — nice surprise when a company goes beyond your expectations!  I had also placed a second order for business cards the very next day and e-mailed to see if I could get them in the same delivery order.  At first they had said no but to my surprise, they were here today too!

In the box, there are cool puzzles, this fancy little box for the business cards and of course, the high quality, thick stock cards.  They have that smooth surface that I love and the print quality on the text is awesome.  I’m really impressed!

Here are photos of the unboxing:

The box the cards came in. It also had an insert to organize your cards.

My cards – there are a variety of backs but the front is the same on all.

Trina’s card – a series of beautiful digital watercolors.

In each box were these little puzzles.  A great fun thing to add to the order!

I’ve always said (screamed aloud?) that one-on-one coaching without implementation was a complete waste of time and money.  It seems though that everyone and their brother is still rushing to hire expensive coaches that give them a lot of direction, a lot to think about but very little follow through.  Sure, they might give you a pretend spanking (ooo la la, let me grab my whip!) if / when you don’t do your “homework” but in all reality, does that kickstart you into action?  I’m betting that it doesn’t.

So, I tried it.

Yep.  I created some one-one-one time with Erin and I made it available to a select group of people — ten to be exact. I wanted to see what the experience was like from the coach / strategist side and how I could finally prove that one-on-one work without implementation was crap.

I’m going to be admitting to you what some people may call failure but what I call a success.

However, before I continue, let me make something really, really, really clear.  I have A LOT of great information, guidance, strategy, ideas, etc. to give to people. Throughout these experiences, I did and continue to provide really great service.  However, it was clear to me that there were two groups of people.  #1 — The strategy implementers and #2 — The strategy non-implementers.

A handful of these people aligned our strategy calls with direct implementation to my team.  For these people, the results paid off instantly and it became a really fun way to spend our time.  We’d dream up the next big thing and my team would make it all happen.  Just like that.

The rest of the group would get fired up on the call, be really into everything we’d discuss but they’d walk away and implement nothing.  Then, they would show up on the next call either providing a reason why they didn’t do it or they would tell me the coaching style just wasn’t working for them.  Totally cool… I didn’t take offense.  When they asked to discontinue their coaching with me, I agreed with them 100%.

Why?

The coaching style had nothing to do with it. The client was excited on the phone, I gave them fabulous ideas, I told them what they needed to do but when it came time to pass the torch to them, the torch sizzled out and died.  They didn’t do any follow through, didn’t want to hire a team to implement so therefore nothing got accomplished.  My guess is that they’ll go and hire another coach to learn the exact same thing.

What the coaching client missed was that they were firing themselves.  They had failed in their part of the bargain.  I had provided the strategy but there was zero implementation being done. No one is going to run your business for you unless you specifically hire for THAT position. Hiring a coach or a strategist is getting someone to give you ideas, tell you what to do next but the actually leaping (or walking / running / jogging) is up to YOU.  If you need ACTION, hire someone who can do a combination of both strategy and action or hire a team to work on outsourcing in your company.

So, I lost two coaching clients.  I am not at all upset or embarassed by it because I wanted to learn whether coaching on its own was effective or not and in this particular case, it was not.  It was actually highly ineffective and led to the breakdown of a potentially great scenario.  It also made me realize that I have to be really clear up front with people that I have zero interest in working with non-implementors.

What do you think?  Is coaching one-on-one without aligned action or implementation a waste of time?

Today, as I was going through my e-mail, I received yet another newsletter.  Going through the motions to unsubscribe, I realized that this one was different.

This one had my e-mail address, and a group of others, in the “To:” line of the e-mail.  Realizing that my contact details were exposed, I scrolled down to the unsubscribe button and clicked it… only to realize that I was met with a Constant Contact “Test Message Only” error.  Turns out, I was forwarded a test e-mail that someone had generated from Constant Contact… I couldn’t even unsubscribe.

Scrolling back up, I noticed that the e-mail was in fact forwarded from the e-mail address that the test had gone to.  Not only was this particular e-mail not in compliance of CAN-SPAM laws, it was just a messy way to get a message across to your audience!

After realizing all of this, I sent the following e-mail to the company’s owner:

“Please remove me from this mailing list immediately.  Your unsubscribe button doesn’t work because this was sent out as a test instead of an actual e-mail.  If you have an assistant looking after this, he/she may want to know that it’s against CAN-SPAM laws to not allow unsubscribe from your e-mail list.

Also, my e-mail address was exposed (as were your other recipients) in the “To:” line of your e-mail.  I don’t want my contact details shared with anyone that I do not share them with as I get too much e-mail as it is.  Exposing my details goes against CAN-SPAM’s privacy laws.

Hopefully you understand that these suggestions don’t come from a place of negativity but being an Internet marketer, I do my best to inform people about the things that are happening in their business that may not be compliant.”

The owner of the company promptly wrote back an apology, which was appreciated and included the following line:

“I have an intern from the college i teach at doing this and will look into it.”

This is where I stopped in my tracks to write this blog post.

Too many business owners are cutting costs in the WORST place in their business — their operations. Instead, they pour buckets and buckets of money into coaching, info-products, training, seminars, networking events, etc. and they scour the Internet looking for CHEAP outsourcing.

Why?

When we’re investing in more information, more training, more networking and we’re lacking on the investment back in the business’ core, things WILL fall apart when your momentum picks up.  Or, you won’t have time to implement 3/4 of what you learn so it becomes a waste of capital.

The worst part is, when all of the mistakes happen, the messy business operations happen and the business’ image is flawed (as the above example shows) the business owner places the blame on their team.  The very team that they went cheap with because the value of that particular service, to the business owner, just wasn’t there.

When you invest in your team, think about the fact that they are your core.  They maintain your operations.  They make sure that your professional image is carried through everything you do.  Outsource cheaply and you cheapen your image.

Luckily for this particular business owner, I was willing to point out where the errors had gone wrong and how they were in violation of the CAN-SPAM Act.  Had I been someone who didn’t care as much about informing them or who was really irritated over the situation, it could have gone very sour.  That business owner could have lost their right to their Constant Contact account, their ability to send out e-mails without being blacklisted and who knows what else.

However, this is just my opinion… what do you think?  Do you think outsourcing cheaply cheapens your business or do you think budgeting this area is important?

P.S. — I’ve been told that this video has helped people understand the value of outsourcing. Check it out:

We took home the first place award (and a boot!) in the category of Best ‘Pixie Dust’ Technique of the Year. (Learn what ‘Pixie Dust’ is here.) We also took home a second place win in the category of Most Innovative Source of Bootstrap Capital of the Year. Lastly, we were one of six finalists for the big award that will be given out at an award ceremony in April for Fastest Growing Bootstrap Startup.

BSETC, my company that won the awards, is a creative, professional outsourcing firm that helps business owners build, grow and manage their online businesses. Providing services that range from administration all the way to web design, the company helps create departments for entrepreneurs and start-ups that can’t afford full time staff. Check out the company here.

Here are a few photos from the event:

Erin Blaskie with her Boot!

Erin Blaskie and Scott Annan at the Bootstrap Awards!

The Coveted Boot!

From their site: Erin Blaskie steps up to bring the best Valentine’s viral vids from across the interwebs. A marriage proposal done right, another that goes horribly wrong and a couple of wedding day thrillers.

Check out show notes and other details here.

What is jailbreaking?

Jailbreaking is the art of unlocking your iPhone so that you can access a myriad of apps that you wouldn’t be able to otherwise. It allows you to also apply themes to your iPhone changing it from the default look to something more custom.

Why jailbreak?

I don’t recommend that everyone does it but since I’m a tecchy / geek at heart, I needed to jailbreak my iPhone in order to do a few different things for videos, etc. So, I took the plunge! However, if you want access to apps that are only available on jailbroken iPhones and those themes, do it!

Please note: jailbreaking your iPhone can void your warranty so please do not do this unless you are cool with that… Also, BACKUP your data before doing it. It’s in the video but still.

What tool do you use to jailbreak your iPhone?

I used Blackra1n, available here. Although my video shows Blackra1n being used on a Mac, you can use it for a PC as well.

Watch the Video:

Here are a few of the Tweets on #googlebuzz:

Google Buzz 101

If you want to see what Google Buzz is and how it’s integrated into Gmail, watch this video I just created:

My Thoughts on Google Buzz

In using Google Buzz, one of the first things I noticed was that not only were my “buzzes” going to the new Buzz section, they were also flooding into my inbox in Gmail creating double the noise.  The beauty with Twitter is that I can shut the website off or close Tweetdeck.  It’s not something that is forcing its way into my life like an ex-boyfriend or a stray cat.  Apparently, this is a feature that was definitely chosen and there is no visible way to turn it off.  One Twitterer recommended setting up a filter… Yeahhh, I’ll filter the buzzes all right – straight into my TRASH!

Second, Google Buzz has zero, easy-to-find settings and the finding friends option is not clearly marked from the Gmail add-on.  The interface is pretty simple to use and it mimics the Google Mail interface nicely.  For people who are used to using Gmail, this will be an easy thing to use.  However, I think they need to make finding friends and the general settings much more prominent on the interface.

Third, Google Buzz has a lot of people talking about geolocation based messaging.  What this means is that when you are updating your status on Buzz, it will also point out to your followers where you are.  This has many issues for me — I like using apps like Foursquare and Gowalla because they are optional.  When I am cool with people knowing where I am (ie: eating sushi with a group of people) I tell the world.  If I am NOT cool with people knowing where I am (ie: traveling to a city alone where I don’t really know anyone), I like to go incognito.  We’ll see how easy it is to turn this geolocation based messaging on/off.  If it’s not, it’s a huge invasion of privacy and freaks me out a little.

Fourth, I think this is Google’s way of trying to rescuciate a dead Google Wave…  In all honesty, they should be focusing their attention on integrating Google Wave into Gmail… Oh wait, Google Buzz integrates into Gmail… Google Buzz also does threaded messaging like Wave did… I’m confused.  Are they the same?  Are they different?  What’s happening with Wave?  Oh Google…  One of my favorite Tweets of the morning is this one:

Fifth, Google Buzz is making use of the mobile market but using browser-based updating instead of an app format.  I much prefer to be able to access everything via apps instead of using Safari on my iPhone so I hope that they make an app for this if it really does take off (not a prediction… I predict it dies.)

The world doesn’t need another social media network. The world needs a much more streamlined approach to this entire thing.  People want to have improved connections and to be able to update ONE social networking service and not feel the need to update many.

However… those are just my rants.  What are your thoughts?

We did end #1 in the small business category so GO TEAM!

So, watch the video and see if you can spot your name… This list was taken from the official list of votes on the Shorty Awards so if your name isn’t there… let me know so I can add it to this blog post!

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